itsnotabuse

My housemate, Justin, and I are going to drop out of college to blog professionally. It's going to be sweet. Our blog is just going to be blogs about other blogs. We're calling it "Eat, Sleep, Blog." So if anybody had plans for this blog, too bad. I called blog-dibs on it. Hands off.

Up until today, I didn't think that Coldplay was too bad. But then one of their songs (Yellow) was stuck in my head... And I thought, "HEY WAIT! THIS IS A TERRIBLE BAND!" My girlfriend, Emily, and one of my friends from college, B-Money kept telling me over the years that Coldplay sucked. I always disagreed. I was wrong. They are watered down Radiohead for morons.
Here's a list of bands I've been into lately that are better than Coldplay:

Oxford Collapse
I'm From Barcelona
Menomena
Annuals
Boris

Listen to those instead.

I had a professor recently that sprung assignments on me in this way very often... He actually didn't even give out a syllabus or anything, though. And he would give out these huge assignments that would be hard any weekend... but somehow it was always on weekends I was planning on working on other assignments. He was an asshole.

This comic mostly refers to this music video I saw once. I think it was for a Simple Plan song. It was about how terrible parents can be or something... And parents not "understanding" their kids. But the whole video just showed these kids in huge rooms with TVs and sweet computers and all this stuff... And I can't help but think, "why are you complaining!?!?" These kids have everything in their lives... And -- boo-hoo -- their parents don't understand them. Guess what? Most parents don't really understand their kids. It's a different generation... and kids are retarded. Deal with it. And don't deal with it in song form, you annoying assholes.

These types of girls... Ugh. Not a fan. It's as if they think the world revolves around them. They want attention. Also, they are usually drunk. And by "drunk," I mean "annoying."

I seriously think that the creepiest part of ghosts isn't that they are dead people... It's that they kind of intrude on your space and watch your daily life. I guess it would be cool if it were a friend or family member that you want to hang out with all the time... But if it is a stranger, that's just weird. It's like, "Hey dude! Give me some space!"

A few weeks ago, I went out to buy more nose spray (Zicam) after my last bottle ran out. My mother told me to be careful not to get addicted... So Emily and I kept making jokes about how I was addicted to Zicam. They mostly went like this: "Kendon... did you just take that!?!? Are you high right now!?!" "I'm so high!" "Oh shit... Your parents are going to find out... They'll tell if you aren't sniffling! You have to hide it!" But the joke was on me because -- until a few days ago -- I wasn't able to get off the stuff. You HAVE to keep using it because when you stop, your nose is twice as stuffed up. It takes like a day and a half for your nose to not be in terrible pain constantly. End.

Well, this comes from two places: The first is laughing at all the idiots in the world that spend money on cool shit without planning for -- I don't know -- the water bill. The second is that I am really, really afraid that when I get my own apartment next year, I will become one of those idiots. Here's hoping I will keep my head about me!

Every time I take a crap, I am so happy that I am not gay. If I were gay, there would be no way that I could possibly handle it. I would cry. I would never be with another man again... And then I would die alone. Unless I was always giving... Then I guess I could handle being gay.

If you have ever had a sip of Steel Reserve, you know exactly what I am talking about... Basically, it is one of the most hardcore, cheapest beers to ever exist. Normal people don't drink it. Alcoholics and beer/money-deprived college students do. I don't recommend it to anyone ever..

At the moment, my girlfriend lives about nine hours away... So I only see her... never. To make up for this distance, we talk endlessly on-line. The results? Well, last semester was the first since my freshman year that I didn't get a 4.0. Also? I don't get out much.

It isn't a secret by now that I hate emo music... a lot. I think it is pretty much the worst thing to ever exist. Except, you know... I have a few secret loves in that department. I think it makes me hate it even more?

Ignoring that many of my comics are cliche... Well, I just simply can't stand cliches. But I guess my main focus of hatred isn't cliches in general, but the ones that were never really that funny... but are now used by idiots as their main source of humor. I'm looking at you, middle schoolers who yell "Run Forest, RUN!" at anybody you ever seen running -- even though you've never seen the movie that quote is from.

The joke here is that the guy would rather shoot himself in the head than have to deal with kids! HAHAHA! I think that's something that most of us can relate to... Right guys? Riiigghhhttt gggguuuyyyysss? Seriously... kids=lame.

Pulling out one's heart and offering it to another is a common image with love. I drew this comic for my girlfriend, Emily... It's not wholly original or anything, but whatev... Being creative is for nerdos.

This is a shout-out to all of you fellow people that are letting themselves get out of shape. I tried on a pair of pants a few days ago that fit me during cross-country season (so... a few months ago). I can't even button them anymore without sucking my stomach all the way... But then I can't breathe out. HOWEVER!!! I still look really skinny. So now I'm: Still disgustingly skinny, too fat for some of my clothes, and still weak. The worst combo ever.

This is a comic showing the common hipster in his natural environment. Notice the iPod to show that even though he is about to go listen to music in a club, he must still have his music on him constantly. Also, he has a cigarette so that people know he is way cooler than everyone. Don't disturb him.

I think the meaning behind this comic is obvious: 1. Stereotypes are always right. There is a reason why they are stereotypes. It's because they have never been wrong... never. 2. Your mother is always right. Always. there will never be an situation where she isn't. If you remember these two things, you will never join a rock band, do drugs, and kill a man.

This one really wasn't meant to sound quite as political as it probably does... I really don't know enough about politics to attempt that. But what I do know is this: There are some crazy people on the street, and they sound a lot like a lot of people (Republicans) running for public office. I don't know when being a conservative meant using God as an excuse for a lot of things, but that needs to end. Especially since God doesn't exist.

Oh yeah -- and the guy that gives my character advice -- he isn't really Jesus. My character just takes him to be Jesus. I felt that this explanation is needed because I don't make that obvious... That my character assumes he is Jesus is just another symptom of his cra... crazy... craziness... Okay, I'll be quiet now.

I'm not a fan of kids.